It turns out that I misunderstood the context in which my friend had asked me to step back. Maybe I had been a bit too over-sensitive and once I realised that I tried to make amends. However, my attempts to amend have probably made things worse... I think there is now a very bad feeling between us and my only option is to give her space, it will hurt me a lot but I hoping it won't turn into something permanent.
The one thing that makes this incredibly difficult is that I know my friend is very unhappy. Her job is going really badly and her boyfriend is all the way out in Africa; they can only meet up once every few months if that. Normally, I would want to help in any way I could, now I feel like a hindrance and I will only destroy our once amazing relationship even further.
It is also no coincidence that I am writing this on Valentine's day, I have been sending my friend a present every year (which I also do with a few other girl-friends but largely because she/they seemed to enjoy it)... I had already agreed to not send her anything this year due to our little bust-up but some part of me hoped that she would at least think of me and say/send something. I guess not. A shame really, I used to enjoy Valentines day because of the joy that it would bring to my friends who received something... now I don't have that, it is a pretty rubbish day when you are single.
Anyway, enough wallowing in self-pity... as no one will ever read this blog, I am going to use it to talk about myself and my feelings on different aspects of life. As I have more time to myself, the updates should now start to get more frequent. My first posting on this will be a rundown of me...
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